did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
