I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Even my vagina gasped.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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