Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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