who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
