Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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