bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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