so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i used baking grease as lip gloss
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
