I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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