two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
