Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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