It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
