I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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