Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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