yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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