I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
