After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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