I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
