its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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