left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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