Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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