I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
