just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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