i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
