I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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