Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
