I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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