i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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