Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
