I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
