spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
