im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
