I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
