i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
