She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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