Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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