I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
