no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
