I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
