She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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