Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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