Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
