What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
FUCK WHALES
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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