my soul wont recognize me after tonight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
