we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
