Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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