Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
