rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
