Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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