I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
