Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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