He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
