im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
