it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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