Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
