oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
